tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2730505206363930682024-03-13T08:39:36.455-07:00Give the grave only bones.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-52038508426460753422017-05-11T10:00:00.000-07:002017-05-11T10:00:17.209-07:00"At least I got a man." When I was a teenager I remember being at church and there was a girl there teasing me. I can't even remember exactly what she was making fun of me for but I remember at the end she said "You might be smarter than me but at least I got a man."<br />
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As soon as she said that everyone around us started laughing and saying things like "that's true," and other stupid comments. I walked away from her feeling like I had just been hardcore shamed, like my intelligence was something but nothing compared to the fact that this girl had a 'man.'<br />
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The other day I had a<b> </b>deja vu<b> </b>moment with one of my friends, a moment that took me back to being a shamed kid at church. This person is someone that I consider to be extremely intelligent, successful and on their way to even bigger success.We were texting about our lives and things that we're doing currently and at one point she said "Well you're still doing better than me because you have a man now."<br />
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When I read her message I was dumbfounded. I sat there just reading the message over and over again and I couldn't help but to laugh. Why is it that being in a relationship determines how well someone is doing? I sat there thinking about her, someone that I look up to so much and felt so sad that she thinks that I'm in anyway doing better than she is simply because I'm dating someone and she's not.<br />
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For the last five months or so I've talked a lot about my relationship, it's really hard not to. Patrick is my first boyfriend and we spend a lot of time together. Patrick is an amazing human and friend and I just want to tell everyone about him. Being with him has added even more joy to my life than was there before, he's an answer to prayer.<br />
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Let me say this though if for some reason, God forbid, Patrick and I broke up my worth on this earth wouldn't change.<br />
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As an educator that works a lot with teenage girls, this is an issue that is very close to my heart. I see girls everyday, ones that are running from relationship to relationship trying to find worth and meaning in this world. They're reaching for dirty hands and unattainable hearts hoping to find belonging and acceptance through their relationship status and I know how it feels.<br />
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Even though I grew up with a present and loving father and amazing brothers, when I went to college and got a taste of the rat race of false love I was addicted to the attention. It's only by God's grace that I didn't end up sleeping with some no good man and really changing the trajectory of my life.<br />
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I'm saying all of this to say, that I am so proud to be a woman. I am proud to be made in the image of Christ and to be a portrait of his creativity and goodness and my identity and my worth is firmly rooted in that. I'm proud of the places I've been, the stories I've walked through and also the many lives that I've been able to impact through work.<br />
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If Patrick and I get married then I think part of my identity will change. Being married will require so much more commitment from us than just being in a relationship and with a name change, moving in together and the merging of families we'll become one. Even when that happens, the greatest and most enriching part of my identity will still be in who I am in Christ.<br />
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I've written about this before but society often tells us that as women we haven't fully made it until someone wants us, marries us and makes us their own. Today I want to tell you that you're wanted, you're cherished and you're loved. You're loved by someone that will never leave you, never fail you and never forsake you until the end of age. God is that someone. If you're single and someone throws it in your face than dear just let me remind you that you always have God and he's not an "at least" he's more than enough.<br />
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"If you are not attaching your identity to the unshakable love of your savior, you will ask the things in your life to be your savior and it will never happen." - Paul David TrippAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-23306052432284315862017-05-04T09:00:00.000-07:002017-05-04T09:55:16.420-07:00Your deadly comfort. On the last day of April my pastor preached part two of a message called 'Simplify.' He talked about our time being one of the most important things we have and that the way we fill our minutes before we know it evolves into the way we fill our life. The take away and what really struck a chord with me is that we need to focus more on who we want to become and less on what needs to get done.<br />
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As I sat there listening to his words my planner flashed before my eyes. All of the color coded plans and clearly outlined appointments played like a slideshow in my mind. My calendar is filled with things that need to get done, tasks upon tasks upon arguably meaningless tasks.<br />
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As I sat there thinking about the person that I want to become I realized that the things currently on my to do list don't add to my big picture. A few years ago I created a mission statement for my life, the idea behind it being that I would weigh my actions, my decisions and my weekly tasks against it. It would become the measure by which I would weigh my life. Today as I sit here I don't even remember what that mission is or even where I wrote it down.<br />
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Sitting in my warm seat at church I was slapped with the realization that I wasn't optimizing my time and dare I say it out loud that I was comfortable with my life.<br />
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One of my friends has a shirt that says "Comfort wants you dead," and it's a phrase that for the past week has been on my mind. As my minutes become my hours and my hours my days and my days my life, I see a recent string of comfortable days. Days where I push just enough, or lean in just enough to do a good job but not enough to break molds. Molds like the one I'm comfortably housed in right now.<br />
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My comfort zone, though safe is slowly killing me. Killing the passion in me that thrives on new situations. Situations where I give a little more, love a little deeper and push myself just ever so slightly pass my normal stopping point.<br />
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This week I decided to make one slight change to my schedule. I set my alarm for 15 minutes earlier than my normal wake up time so that I can spend quality, uninterrupted time with Christ. It's a small and ever so slight change but the peace that it's brought to my week has been incredible. If I look at my planner and the circumstances that I was faced with this week, the outcome should have been unrest but instead it was peace.<br />
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I used the first 15 minutes, just 15 minutes, of my day differently and it affected the entire trajectory of my week. In the days to come I'm planning to look at my schedule even closer, with the goal being to subtract and minimize things and tasks that are unnecessary and aren't adding value to my life.<br />
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I'm also going to recreate the mission statement of my life and set myself back on a path of growth and discovery, back on the path of life.<br />
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If you only take one thing away from this post I hope it's the truth that your comfort zone may be safe but it's not beneficial. Comfort is not a place where we can thrive or grow. In order to do more and to get closer to the person that we so desire to be we have to take a step outside of and away from what's familiar. A step outside of our deadly comfort.<br />
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"In this world you're either dying or your growing so get in motion and grow." Lou HoltzAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-73729380532279605642017-04-27T07:00:00.000-07:002017-04-27T07:00:20.603-07:00My first 40 days. This year I decided to do lent for the first time. For some reason when the opportunity presented itself and I had the chance to give up all of my favorite things for an extended amount of time, I took it.<br />
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For 40 days I gave up coffee, candy, social media and alcohol. I wish I could say that the hardest part was the no coffee but lets be real, it was giving up candy.<br />
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Before this year I didn't really know much about Lent. Growing up my family wasn't big on Easter, we would go to church the weekend of but besides that we wouldn't do Easter egg hunts, or baskets or anything. I grew up with the sense that Easter was another holiday that society capitalized on but didn't truly understand.<br />
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The last 40 or so days have changed my entire view of this season. Easter is more than just another day out of the 365 that we get each year. The concept, the truth behind Easter, is the foundation of the Christian faith.<br />
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For those who aren't super familiar, the 40 days leading up to Easter, lent, is meant to model the 40 days that Jesus spent fasting in the wilderness. The bible says that Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness and he fasted for 40 days and 40 nights and when it was over he was tempted by the devil. Hebrews says that because Jesus suffered and was tempted he is able to help us when we are tempted.<br />
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On Easter Sunday, as I sang a set of worship songs to a congregation full of people the truth of Easter reverberated in my soul. I realized that regardless of what we add to the day, how we enhance it and make it marketable, Easter is and will always be about Jesus.<br />
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Lent for me was not about just taking a break from things that I enjoy. It wasn't about forcing myself to stop going on Facebook and to lay off the candy for a few weeks. Lent helped me to be able to narrow my focus, It took away the heavy distractions and clutter that often fogged my view. Lent pulled away the junk in my life and pointed me straight to the giver of life, it pointed me to Christ.<br />
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Easter is the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It's what happened after the disciples saw Jesus hanging on a cross, crucified. Jesus, their hope for the future, was gone. The messiah had seemingly been defeated and death had won.<br />
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The truth though is that death is defeated and Christ is risen. He rose again on the third day and renewed the disciples hope in him as their savior and as the savior of all mankind. The darkness of the weekend and the sight of him hanging from a tree was erased by the joy of seeing him again in all of his honor and glory.<br />
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Easter is so much more than just pastel colors and packed church services. Lent reminded me that the resurrection is the Christian story. It's the three years that Jesus spent preaching and reaching out to the lost coming to an abrupt halt and then beauty, glorious beauty, being born from the ashes. <br />
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Lent was the path that I needed to take to become truly connected to the Easter story. It was the defining moment that made Easter not just another bible story but rather the moment in history that makes everything that I believe in truth.<br />
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"If Jesus rose from the dead, then you have to accept all that he said; if he didn't rise from the dead then why worry about any of what he said? The issue on which everything stands is not whether or not you like his teaching but whether or not he rose from the dead." - Tim Keller<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-24699045201965383522017-04-13T06:35:00.002-07:002017-04-13T06:35:43.461-07:00The happiness of a Patriots fan. I've been a Patriots fan for as long as I can remember. Growing up my brothers, all 5 of them and my dad, loved the Redskins. It seemed like the Redskins were the Magloire family football team but I never seemed to develop a liking for them. Instead, I gravitated towards the team with a coach that never smiled and a sixth round quarterback draft pick from California.<br />
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Before I even knew what it meant to be a fan of anything I was a fan of the Patriots. I didn't really know what I was doing as far as being a football fan was concerned. Eventually, I figured that I just needed to model the behavior that my brothers displayed.<br />
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So I would look up stats and players names and I would watch games and make noise when we scored a touchdown and make noise when we got scored on. I figured if I was constantly making noise during a game I was doing something right.<br />
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Now that I live in Denver, I often get slack from people about the team I like. The most common things I hear are "But wait, you're not even from New England," or my personal favorite "Oh great, another bandwagon fan."<br />
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I love football and I love being a Patriots fan but during the Super Bowl I had a moment that forced me to take a look at myself and be reminded that it's just a game.<br />
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Picture this, there I was on Super Bowl Sunday, eight minutes left in the fourth quarter and I was sobbing. I was sitting there crying so hard, not at all embarrassed because I thought the Patriots were going to lose. My friends all laughed at me and called me ridiculous and I just sat there crushed. Feeling like the game was so important, like the Patriots really needed to win or my life would be affected in some major way.<br />
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For every game that is lost in football there's a coach, a team, investors and a few others that are greatly affected. It changes the trajectory of their season, whether they go into the playoffs or not and for some players it affects whether they're able to even stay in the league. When the Patriots lose, nothing in my life changes. I wake up the next day, the same as I did the day before and I continue going on with my life.<br />
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The truth is, for the majority of us Football fans, besides our emotional state being altered for a few hours, our lives don't change at all by the results of these games. Yet there we are, crying, in a room filled with people we love because we think that a game might not end the way we want it too.<br />
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Super Bowl Sunday was kind of a reality check for me. It was like I had an out-of-body experience by seeing my behavior through my friends eyes. Is football really that important to me?The answer, is that it's not.<br />
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What's really important to me, one of the things that I want people to see me engaging in passionate conversations over and fighting for, is education.<br />
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So many of the students that I work with want to play in the NFL or the NBA. They want to be famous singers and rappers, they want to drive Ferrari's and live in mansions in LA and a lot of that is far fetched for 99.9% of them. What shouldn't be a far fetched dream though, is for them to be able to go to a high school in their neighborhood that offers them a rich education geared towards their learning styles.<br />
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I want to yell and raise a ruckus about things like that. About all of the thousands of under served and disadvantaged youth in this country and my city, that don't have access to the opportunities they deserve. For kids from low income families that aren't able to get an education that gives them a chance to have a better life. One that is better than the one their parents had and equips them with the tools they need to break the cycle of poverty.<br />
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Football is often as simple as win or lose and maybe that's what I love about it. There are four quarters, a slight chance of overtime but regardless it always ends with someone winning and someone losing. Education, on the other hand, may not be as simple but it's undoubtedly more important.<br />
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I firmly believe that I was made to help youth. Made to support them in their struggles and provide them with the resources that are often just out of their grasp. Football brings me happiness but education and being a bridge for students in that way, that's what brings me real joy.<br />
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I'll probably still watch football next season. I may buy a jersey and even try to get tickets for the Patriots vs Broncos game. What I won't do, is forget how small it all is. In the grand scheme of things and the big picture of my life the Patriots are just a team and football is and will always be, just a game.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-78434242449507879162017-04-06T07:00:00.000-07:002017-04-06T07:00:12.481-07:00Leotards, body image and me. "Okay Nikki, go grab a leotard and a pair of tights, put them on in the dressing room and meet us in rehearsal room 1."<br />
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It was my first day of dance class and very quickly my excitement turned into dread.<br />
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"I'm supposed to just wear this, in front of everyone," I thought to myself as I picked up the black leotard and the darkest pair of tights I could find and headed in to the dressing room.<br />
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Growing up, I never felt comfortable in my own skin. I wanted to be taller, have straight hair, have a smaller waist and didn't want to be the biggest girl in a leotard in a room filled with ballet dancers.<br />
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I started taking dance classes because it was something I had always wanted to do. My best friend was a dancer and if I started taking classes we would be able to do it together. I never really thought about how it would make me feel about my body. Where it should have made me feel strong and capable, it instead led me to thinking that I was the DUFD of the group...the designated, ugly, fat, dancer.<br />
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The mind is a powerful place. It can grab hold of your attention, warp your reality and make you to believe that this flesh that you live in, is not just your home but also your worth. That the number on the scale and the size on the dress determines how good you are and how much value you add to the world.<br />
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Instead of basking in the joy of being a dancer, I often drowned in the weight of not feeling like I leveled up. Like the dance room was a place I never belonged and dancer was a title that was never meant for me.<br />
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Have you ever felt like that? Like your looks disqualified you from fitting in or doing something that you really loved? A feeling that your mind grabs hold of and instead of replacing it with truth, enforces the lies and cements them as facts.<br />
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I haven't taken a dance class in over 5 years but my mind is still often visited by the lies. The lies that I'm not skinny enough, that my body doesn't fit the mold, that I need to work harder and eat less. That I'll never measure up and who I am will never compare to our world's standard of beauty.<br />
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The beauty of it all, something that it took me years to learn, is that the world does not determine my worth or what makes me beautiful. The bible says in Psalms 139:14 "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works."<br />
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I am fearfully and wonderfully made. When the truth of that statement grabbed a hold of my soul it changed the course of my thoughts. I'm not a dress size or a number on the scale. I'm an educator, a daughter, a writer, a singer, a sister, an aunt and most importantly a fearfully and wonderfully made child of God.<br />
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My body is not something that I work against anymore but rather something that I work with. The food I eat is fuel for me to be able to have the energy to impact the lives of student, pour into friendships and relationships and to live a vibrant, Christ focused and joy filled life.<br />
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My body doesn't define me. It doesn't determine my worth or the value that I bring to this world and your body doesn't determine your value either. Marvelous are the works of God, every single one of them and that my friend, is truth. <br />
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"I will shed all of this skin, down to the very bone beneath it, if that's what it will take for you to come to the realization that appearance is not what makes a human beautiful."<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-56713875224637081342017-03-30T08:00:00.000-07:002017-03-30T08:00:09.610-07:00More soul, more heart. The words will fall out of me<br />
like rain from the sky.<br />
Each letter playing it's part<br />
to form the words<br />
that can't wait to be heard<br />
can't wait to be said.<br />
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The mind stops us<br />
from looking silly<br />
from making mistakes<br />
it also can stop us from setting someone free<br />
from opening the gate that guards the heart<br />
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Sometimes we need less mind<br />
less holding back<br />
more soul<br />
more openness<br />
more heart.<br />
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Writing for me is easy. I can put my feelings in a letter or in a text. I can outline a blog and convey my thoughts in a way that is clear where my intentions are easy to understand.<br />
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When it comes to speaking, it's not as simple. I think a little too much, reword a bit too often and more likely than not I can utter a sarcastic comment quicker than I can get a loving word to free itself from my tongue.<br />
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I wrote the opening poem about two weeks or so after I started dating Patrick. The beginning of our relationship was such a whirlwind. I had never met someone like him before, never had someone be so open about their feelings and their intentions. Where he would openly share a piece of his heart I would share a stale smile or an awkward giggle, never knowing how to fully put my feelings into words.<br />
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His patience and consistency has made disclosing my feelings easier but even after four months together and months of 'I love you's' it's still not exactly easy.<br />
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That's the cool thing about love though, it's not easy. It's also not exactly hard. It's uncomfortable and challenging and a growing experience. Love, I've learned, will stretch you and teach you and push you to be a better version of yourself.<br />
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It's not two pieces fitting perfectly together with no adjustments or additions needed. It's two imperfect people coming together despite their flaws and trying to build something beautiful.<br />
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Yes, I struggle saying the words, initiating the cuteness and the heart moments but I do it. I do it because I know how amazing it feels when Patrick is open and vulnerable with me, it makes me feel like he trusts me. Like he trusts me to safe guard his words and to not return his investment with empty stares and completely opposite feelings.<br />
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So I guess what I'm saying is that I need to try. Try a bit harder to step outside of my comfort zone and invest in a relationship that really matters to me. Try to utter the words that are often difficult to say but are without a doubt felt. Words that convey my trust in him, in his consistency and his integrity. Words that share just a little bit more soul and a lot more heart. <br />
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"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. " - C.S. Lewis.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-7058332224504635422017-03-23T07:00:00.000-07:002017-03-23T07:00:22.028-07:00The importance of representation. This week I went on one of my first field trips in years. Myself and a few of my colleagues took a group of thirty high school students on a trip to the Denver Police Department and it was awesome.<br />
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DPD is one of the many groups that sends their staff to mentor in our classrooms. Out of the 30 students that we took, about ten or so of them have mentors that are cops. It was such a positive and inspiring experience because having cops as their mentors has completely changed their perception of law enforcement. Where these students once saw just a badge and someone who saw them as only a nuisance, they now see a mentor, friend and a role model. </div>
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Something that really impacted me from the experience was meeting the Executive Director of safety for Denver. The person that holds this position is in charge of over seeing everything that has to do with safety in Denver, that includes fire, police and the sheriffs department. Pretty much the Executive Director is the head honcho, the main boss and all around a big deal and surprisingly to me an African American woman. </div>
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When Executive Director O'Malley, stood in front of us and started welcoming us and sharing about her role and responsibilities, I was mystified. It was so cool to see someone that looked like me and like a lot of the female students that we brought on the trip, holding the highest position in the building and one of the highest positions in the city. I hung on to every word that she shared and when she finished I sat back in my chair feeling like I had just experienced something really important. </div>
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When the field trip wrapped up and I walked my group of students back to the train I was deeply moved by the conversations that I overheard.<br />
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"I think I want to be a cop someday," one girl said, " I think I want to be like the Director of safety," another young lady shared. Where they once struggled to see possibilities, they now saw themselves represented clear as day. </div>
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It is so important for young people of color to see themselves portrayed in high profile jobs and in the media. I am overjoyed that kids that are in school right now are able to grow up having lived through the tenure of our first black president. I'm excited that young ladies are able to see the first African American Bachelorette. More than anything, I'm elated over that fact that my students are able to see people of color holding offices that are impacting their communities. </div>
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Mentioning the Bachelorette makes me feel a little silly but honestly I do think that this is monumental for young women of color. For them to turn on their televisions and turn to one of the most popular shows in this country and see someone who is educated, wise, beautiful, composed AND looks like them...that's important. </div>
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Representation is a necessity. I was reminded of the importance of that this week. Growing up I so wanted to be a doctor and when I got to college and the road was rougher than I thought, I dropped that dream like a hot plate. This week was the first time, since changing my major and exploring different career options, that I wondered if my choices could have been different. If I had grown up being mentored by a woman of color that was a doctor or if I had a doctor that was a person of color, would I have made a different choice? </div>
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Would I have tried harder? Where I saw uncertainty and the impossible would I have thought of her and seen a tangible example of hope? It's hard to tell and since I love what I do so much, I honestly don't want to spend too much time thinking about it. What I do know, is that walking to the Police station none of my girls mentioned wanting to go into Public safety or any career for that matter but on the walk back, they all did. </div>
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There is power in thinking about your dream job and being able to recall a memory of people who walk like, talk like and look like you in those positions. There's a confidence that comes and I think in your subconscious a switch is flipped and it tells you that people who look like you have done it and so can you. </div>
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Representation is an essential step in giving young people of color the proper tools to be able to achieve their goals. It's the black president, the first Latina Justice on the Supreme court, it's the African American woman saving NASA and the first Muslim American man winning an Oscar.<br />
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It's about giving young adults, both male and female, an image to focus on, one that mirrors who they are and what they can be. One that gives them hope, inspires them to dream and allows them to see themselves serving in any capacity that they wish.<br />
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I wish every adult that interacted with our students treated them the way that those cops did. They treated them like they were the future, like they had potential and like our city will be a better place because of each and every one of them. They showed them Officers, Commanders and Directors who looked like them. People who told them that the sky was the limit and I think for the first time in maybe their entire lives, our students could actually see it and without hesitation, believed it.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-13809466442147413732017-03-16T07:30:00.000-07:002017-03-23T12:43:45.201-07:00A relationship in orbit. Dating is weird. You meet a person and you decide that you not only think that they're attractive but you also think that they're someone that you want to spend an ungodly amount of time with. So you change your status on Facebook and put a heart emoji next to their name in your phone and just like that you're a couple.<br />
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I've written before about how watching my parents taught me a lot about love and marriage but I didn't get the privilege of watching them when they were just a couple, just boyfriend and girlfriend. I think if I did I would have learned some of the ins and outs of this relationship business.<br />
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Dating doesn't solve any of the issues or insecurities that we as single people tend to have. Rather, I think it grabs batteries from a dusty drawer in the kitchen, loads the closest flashlight and illuminates everything that you've tried to hide for years. </div>
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The more time you spend with someone the more they get to know you. That's a sentence that we're all familiar with but we should also add that they don't just get to know the rose colored parts of you but also the weird, scarred and quirky parts of you. </div>
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After a few months of dating, Patrick knows quite a bit about me. He knows that I call every dog that I see fluffy. He knows that I have moments where I'm irrational and literally annoyed for no reason. He knows that I'm a sucker for the simple things and he also knows that it's the littlest things at times that really grind my gears. </div>
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At this point in our relationship he's really starting to know me and not just the parts of me that are easily shared but also the parts that are not. The parts that I'm not always so proud of, the parts that I'm working on. </div>
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Relationships are a constant journey of trusting, trusting and trusting some more. Trusting that the love you give will be returned. Trusting that this flaw or that flaw won't be the one that's nonnegotiable. Trusting that if they're choosing to love you today than they'll choose to do it tomorrow as well. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I thought that relationships were easy, that they were fun ALL the time and that once you're in love it fixes every thing. I was way off base. Healthy relationships aren't always easy but they're worth it. I have so much fun with Patrick but not every conversation that we have is fun. Some conversations are hard and are uncomfortable but they are the foundation for what we're trying to build, a strong and lasting relationship.<br />
<br />
At the core of it all I've learned that by keeping Christ at the center of our relationship we've revolved it around something that will never fail. When we first met each other, we sat at a coffee shop and talked for hours and the thing that we talked about the most was Christ. That was the catalyst that prompted a second date that eventually led to a relationship.<br />
<br />
As we get to know each other more and begin to see the quirks and hiccups of each others lives the thing that we're orbiting around still hasn't changed. Which I think is what makes every hard conversation easier, every laugh more joyful and every small kind gesture so big.<br />
<br />
So I guess I didn't need to be a fly on the wall while my parents were dating. I didn't need a cheat sheet that showed me how to fight fair or how to choose to love. All I needed was to put Christ at the center, meet someone else that did the same and let the rest of the story be written by him.<br />
<br />
Xoxo.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-84184665701486492922017-03-09T07:00:00.000-08:002017-03-09T07:10:33.714-08:00The Good in Goodwill. This week I celebrated my one year anniversary at my job and it kind of snuck up on me. I was talking to a mentor at one of my schools and he asked me how I got involved with Goodwill and when I started. I nonchalantly answered him and told him that I started on March 7th and then it hit me that I had started exactly one year ago that day.<br />
<br />
It's crazy how fast time flies when you're doing something that you truly love.<br />
<br />
When I first started at Goodwill I remember feeling such a peace in my soul about what I was doing. I remember feeling like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I feel pretty blessed to still feel that way everyday.<br />
<br />
Throughout this short and lightning fast year I've learned a lot about myself but more than anything I've acquired so much knowledge about the complexities of education. I've learned and seen first hand that for some students, high school can be an almost insurmountable challenge.<br />
<br />
Before starting at Goodwill I think it's safe to say that I had lived a pretty privileged and sheltered life. I was home schooled my entire life and after that I went to a small all women's college before working for a global education program for 4 years.The majority of the people that I had worked with and had gotten a chance to know had supportive parents that pushed them to get the best education possible.<br />
<br />
In my mind, if you didn't get a high school diploma it was because you were lazy and didn't care about your education. Man, was I way off. I've met students that are the main bread winners for their families, students that can barely make it to school on time because they're just getting off work before the first bell rings. Students with learning disabilities that have gone unnoticed and untreated their entire lives.<br />
<br />
I thought that attendance, grades and graduation rates were black and white. I thought that people fell in either one of two categories, the motivated or the unmotivated. Those that cared and those that could care less. The truth is, that education is such a multifaceted and complex topic and the reason why some don't have proper access to it or don't have the resources that they need to succeed can be even more complex.<br />
<br />
I truly love what I do. I love it because it not only gives me a chance to provide under served youth with the resources that they deserve but it also is continually opening my eyes to the trials and tribulations of human life.<br />
<br />
Not everyone has the privilege of being raised in a two parent home. Not all students have the privilege of being able to come home from school and JUST focus on their homework without having to do many other tasks to help their parents. Not every student has the privilege of knowing where their next meal will come from.<br />
<br />
Often times it's not an issue of whether someone is lazy or motivated. Often times it's so much more than that and it takes someone getting in the trenches and showing students that they truly care to find the answer and that's what Goodwill does.<br />
<br />
Two years ago the only thing I knew about Goodwill was that it was a company that sold used clothes. I had no idea that in Denver alone it was an organization that served over 17,000 youth and those are only the numbers from the 2015-2016 school year. I had no idea that they brought in mentors from the community to work with students and to be a consistent and supportive adult figure in their life. I had no idea that they ran adult programs that help to break the cycle of poverty and gives those with mental and physical challenges opportunities to work traditional jobs.<br />
<br />
The 'Good' in Goodwill is that we are about so much more than just clothes, we're about people and their futures and their children's future. We're about families rising out of the pit of poverty and youth not being a victim of the school to prison pipeline. We're about doing good and having that good start where it often matters most, the classroom and in the lives of people in our communities.<br />
<br />
So keep shopping at Goodwill friends because the money that you spend in our stores goes directly to programs for youth and adults in your neighborhood. Do your part and I'll continue to do mine and together we'll keep the Good in Goodwill.<br />
<br />
Xoxo.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-66177193814472608422017-03-02T07:00:00.000-08:002017-03-02T07:00:34.136-08:00Lovely.<div class="MsoNormal">
The other day I took a trip to my favorite coffee shop. Across from me was a young lady, about my age, with long red hair and clear green eyes and every time I looked up she was
staring at me. It was kind of an intense situation because she was only sitting
one table away from me. The more I tried to avoid her eye contact the more
awkward and weird I felt. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had just gotten to the coffee shop so I was still
settling in and putting my things down and when I finally went to get a cup of
coffee she spoke to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She looked me right in the eyes and she said “Hi, how are
you?” I smiled and told her that I was doing fine and then asked how she was
doing. She told me that she was doing well and then a huge smile spread across
her face and she said “You are lovely, I noticed that when you walked in and
had to tell you.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I couldn’t help but to laugh. As far as looks were concerned
I wasn’t having my best morning. I had gone to bed late the night before and
woke up early to meet Patrick for breakfast before he went to work. My face
felt tired and my body matched those sentiments. In that moment, lovely was not the word I would have used to describe myself. Yet there I was, surrounded by people I didn’t know and where I saw a frazzled hot mess this
lady with flowing red hair saw something lovely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How often do we do that? We look at ourselves and see all
the flaws, all the things that are out of place and the things that aren’t
quite right. We see the bags under our eyes and the air of exhaustion radiating
from our skin and miss all the layers of ‘lovely’ that envelope us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took a break from blogging recently. My reasoning was that I thought I needed to
refocus. I thought I needed space to clear my head and find the beauty in the
ashes but now I think the truth is that I got caught up in the mess. I got so
caught up, in fact, that I was lost in the cobwebs and the dust and missed all of the
gorgeous layers and hints of lovely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The thing about commitment, real commitment, is that it’s
independent of feelings. I won’t always feel like writing, I won’t always feel
like my thoughts or opinions are valuable and I’m sure that I won’t always feel
like I have something important to share. Commitment though, doesn’t really care about how I
feel. Commitment calls out to my integrity and requires of me that I show up
and do what I said that I would do regardless of how I feel.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because when you learn to show up, even when most of you feels unprepared, unmotivated and even unworthy, that's when you start to realize that lovely things are all around you. It's in the follow through of our word and being willing to step into the uncomfortable places that we learn how to really see it.<br />
<br />
So here I am. An inexperienced, passionate, joy filled and sometimes unmotivated writer ready to embark on a journey with you. One where I commit to the process and instead of being attached to the outcome I become attached to always showing up.<br />
<br />
I encourage you to master the art of showing up, it'll be especially useful if you ever find yourself in the place that I found myself a month ago. Feeling like an arrow. Like I needed to pull back in order to be shot forward. Regardless of how you feel, show up and be committed to your word. You might be feeling like an arrow but maybe you're meant to be an anchor. Steady, unmovable, reliable, always staying in place even when the waves are rolling and the storm is raging.<br />
<br />
So for now I'm committing to that. To being the anchor even when I feel like I'd much rather be an arrow. Maybe one day I'll run into you in a coffee shop. You'll be standing there thinking that you look frazzled, unwashed, and a mess and I'll be the one staring, trying to find the words to describe something so lovely.<br />
<br />
Xoxo,</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-18565785417796392242017-02-02T07:00:00.000-08:002017-02-02T07:00:00.210-08:00Operation revamp.It's the first week of February and to me it already feels like such a jam packed year. At the end of 2016 I wrote a list of monthly goals I had for my blog. Things I wanted to accomplish in January, February and so on.<br />
<br />
I picked up that list yesterday for the first time this year. It's fair to say that I haven't done a great job of prioritizing this gem lately. I love writing and I love posting each week and I'm not sure why I haven't been setting aside time to make it everything that I know it can be. Time to write thoughtful and relevant pieces that encourage and inspire the people that read them. Some weeks I forget to write a new blog until it's Wednesday night and I only have a few hours before I need to post it and it usually ends up being content that I'm not super excited about. I like being excited about what I write.<br />
<br />
So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take a month. The whole month of February to be exact to do a few things. Some of the things that I would like to do is produce a ton of content, develop a posting calendar, look for a new site to host my blog and search my heart and try to revive my passion for writing and most importantly my passion for this.<br />
<br />
I want to always be intentional about my writing. I want to always make it a purpose to post pieces that are well thought out and well thought through. I don't want to be a last minute 'throw something together' artist and I definitely don't want to do this out of a sense of obligation compared to a sense of passion.<br />
<br />
I'm really excited for this month and the peace that I think it will bring. I'm excited to seek God and my heart about how to stay engaged, relevant and focused each week. I'm stoked to come up with a mission statement for myself and this blog and to write pieces that align with that purpose and that mission and say NO to things that don't.<br />
<br />
Right now I'm feeling a little bit scared and nervous to step away. The fear that I'll lose readers and people will forget about me is weighing heavily on my shoulders but I can't let that deter me from making what I think is the right decision.<br />
<br />
A year ago this week I went to a concert that changed my life. I saw Bethel Music live at their worship night in Denver and when I left I remember being overcome with a sense of courage that I had never experienced before. I left wanting to seek the lost and bring hope and love to those who lack it. I left wanting to be anything but mediocre and wanting that to flow into every aspect of my life.<br />
<br />
I don't that it's a coincidence that almost a year to the date I'm on the total opposite end of the spectrum. Feeling like I'm going with the flow and just doing the least amount of work as possible with something that I love so much. So yeah, this new direction is a little scary but I'm a firm believer in the idea that fear often precedes a great adventure and I'm excited for what this month of reflection and redirection will bring. I'm ready to be overcome with courage and love and for that to flow into my work, I'm ready for a revamp.<br />
<br />
March. March. March. That's when this beautiful thing will be back up and running and hopefully more engaging, thoughtful and dialogue invoking than ever. See you in a few weeks friends!<br />
<br />
P.S. Happy Black History month! XoxoAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-77779211667884964372017-01-26T07:00:00.000-08:002017-01-26T10:42:16.585-08:00The catalyst. "Christianity cannot be a theory. Jesus is so much better than a theory. He's so much better than a good sermon. He's a radical catalyst toward a way of living that's not of this world."<br />
<br />
The word catalyst is defined as being a substance that causes a chemical reaction to occur or the prime agent of any change. The prime agent of any change...I think that all of us can look at our stories and pick out people and situations that have caused great change in our lives.<br />
<br />
In my life I could easily name and recall moments and encounters that have greatly impacted the trajectory of my life. Encounters that have redirected areas of my life and caused me to completely change a behavior or even a certain mindset.<br />
<br />
Jesus is no ordinary catalyst. I say that because when I truly began to know Jesus and allow him into my heart he didn't just change one area of my life he got his hands on every single aspect of my ordinary and mediocre life. Jesus was not just a chapter added to my story but rather he truly became my whole story.<br />
<br />
Jesus is not just a theory. He's not just a man in history that had great ideals and at times spoke in circles and parables. Jesus is not just words on a page or the topic of a really great sermon. Jesus is alive and more than anything he desires to be invited into the inner most parts of your life...he desires to be invited into your heart.<br />
<br />
I don't have much to say this week. I don't have a long post filled with thoughtful concepts and ideas and opinions...the only thing I have this week is my life's greatest truth. Jesus came to this earth for you and he came to this earth for me. He came to bring us home and invite us into a life of fellowship and love.<br />
<br />
He's not just a theory or a good sermon....he's the greatest catalyst that this world will ever know and his name is Jesus.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-7053042441502884742017-01-12T07:00:00.000-08:002017-01-12T12:18:10.046-08:00Mr. President. And just like that<br />
we all looked up<br />
and eight years was over<br />
<br />
For years we watched in awe<br />
as you took an office not created for you.<br />
<br />
The laughter<br />
the soulful songs<br />
the human reactions and expressions<br />
<br />
We smiled along with your joy<br />
and released tears as you cried.<br />
<br />
whether it's widely recognized<br />
or highly debated<br />
You've created a legacy<br />
<br />
It seems like the years flew by faster than we realized<br />
and in just a few short days<br />
you'll be the past<br />
and someone else will be in charge<br />
<br />
But please know that the posts<br />
the letters<br />
the support<br />
won't stop when your spot is left vacant<br />
<br />
You've inspired millions.<br />
<br />
Where there was once an imagined person<br />
a fairy tale character<br />
that matched our skin tone<br />
and understood our slang<br />
<br />
a person that didn't stop at sympathizing<br />
but took a step further to empathize<br />
<br />
A figure that was once only a dream<br />
came to life the moment you took that oath.<br />
<br />
The first person I ever voted for<br />
looked like<br />
spoke like<br />
walked like<br />
and sang like me.<br />
<br />
A sight for sore eyes he was.<br />
<br />
Far from perfect<br />
and even farther from blameless<br />
you made mistakes<br />
you stumbled<br />
you had to retrace a few steps<br />
but you did so with a grace<br />
that will always be admired.<br />
<br />
A President that invited change<br />
encouraged hope<br />
and loved the lost.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your service<br />
and for your sacrifice.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your courage<br />
and your humility.<br />
<br />
Thank you for hearing the feedback<br />
and not being destroyed by the criticism.<br />
<br />
Thank you for always fighting for us.<br />
and for understanding what I mean by "us."<br />
<br />
You are respected.<br />
<br />
You are human,<br />
<br />
You are missed.<br />
<br />
You are our President.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-24686676254372527692017-01-05T07:00:00.000-08:002017-01-05T09:36:05.836-08:00Loving people well.Happy New Year! I really can't believe that it's already 2017. Last year flew by so quickly I feel like I blinked twice and it was over. As I start on this trek that is the new year I do so with a resolve to live life a little differently.<br />
<br />
In 2017, before anything else, I want to love God and people well. For so long I've been the type of person that simply returned the love I was given. I showed people the kindness and the love that they showed me and never sought to surpass their level of affection.<br />
<br />
If someone was mean to me or didn't go out of their way to be nice then I wouldn't go out of my way either. I've never felt bad about loving people conditionally, until now. For the last few months I haven't been able to shake the sense that I'm doing a disservice to myself and others with the way that I love.<br />
<br />
It's risky to love people. If I'm speaking for just myself, it's hard to put my heart on the line especially when I'm not sure if my feelings are going to be reciprocated or even welcomed.<br />
<br />
For a while now, I've really been trying to reflect and embody the life of Christ. The more that I dive into the example of Jesus, the more I realize that loving without any expectations of what you'll get in return was his specialty.<br />
<br />
When I look at scripture, when I evaluate the life of Christ and the way that God loves, it's very clear and without question that God loves without condition. He loved us so much that he gave his son to die for our sins so that we could, if we so choose to accept it, have eternal life.<br />
<br />
I can't imagine giving my life for someone who would never appreciate it, never acknowledge it, never thank me for it...yet that's what Christ did. Jesus gave his life so that humans like you and I, would have a chance at eternal life if we wanted it. Jesus had no guarantees that people would accept his offer or love him in return and he died anyway. Despite the uncertainty, despite the pain, Jesus loved us anyway.<br />
<br />
I feel like I'm at a crossroad in my life and my walk of faith. I can't continue to love with condition. I can't keep being the person that only puts their heart on the line when it's safe. I can't do all of those things and continue to call myself a follower of Christ. I just can't do it.<br />
<br />
This year won't be easy. It will be a journey of putting my feelings and everything that 27 years of living in this world has taught me aside in order to love people the way that Christ loves me. To be a vessel of Christ's love with every person that I come in contact with. It won't be something that I'm perfect at or that I get down in a day but it's something that I'm committed to, something that I won't give up on.<br />
<br />
So cheers to loving people and God well. May we embody his sacrifice, his grace and his approach at life. May we aim to love without condition and project that love into the lives of everyone we encounter.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-1454334172196892662016-12-29T07:00:00.000-08:002016-12-29T07:00:07.796-08:00Wendy and Rey: A love story. "In the flush of love's light, we dare be brave and suddenly we see that love costs all we are, and will ever be. Yet is it only love which sets us free."<br />
<br />
Love is scary. It's portrayed as this big boisterous monster that swoops into your heart unexpectedly and makes you fall head over heels for someone. It's described as the naked child with the bag full of arrows shooting the first person his eyes land on and his stupid arrows can reach.<br />
<br />
We grow up with these images of love in magazines, television shows and movies and it all seems so easy and so unbelievable. They make love look so doable but also so unsustainable, it happens all at once and then the movie is over but you don't see what happens next.<br />
<br />
What happens when the little quirks that they loved become the small things that they're starting to hate? What happens when their core values don't match? What happens when they get into another argument about the same old thing and their tempers get the best of them? What happens when the magic wears off?<br />
<br />
I don't see a lot of movies that portray those things. Films that get to the heart of life and not only show you the bells and whistles but also the thorns and spurs. I didn't learn the ABC's of lasting love from movies but I did learn it from my parents.<br />
<br />
It wasn't until recently that I became aware of all of the lessons that I've learned about love from watching my parents choose to love each other everyday of my entire life. My parents have been married for 36 years and I've been lucky enough to be an eye witness for 27 of those lovely years.<br />
<br />
If I use my parents as my main example I can tell you that love is so much more than just an hour long movie or a lifetime special. Love is choosing to quit your job and live off of one income to home school seven children and make sure that they have the best education possible. Love is having patience and being intentional about being kind and using thoughtful language even after working long exhausting days.<br />
<br />
Love is a choice. Love is choosing, after 36 years, to still go on adventures and to still do the things that made you fall in love in the first place. The real thing, the 'we've been married for 50 years' kind of love, does not just happen with the flick of cupid's wrist. Real love takes work, it takes effort, it requires that you die to yourself and put the well being and needs of that other person before your own and that they do the same for you.<br />
<br />
The stories that I see in movies and on TV pale in comparison to the romance, commitment and love that I've seen my whole life in my parent's relationship.<br />
<br />
I used to think that I didn't know what love was. I thought that I would be scared when I found it and that being in love meant that I had to lose pieces of myself. None of that is true. I know what love is. I know love because I've been surrounded by it my entire life. I know love because God goes out of his way to saturate me in his daily. I know love.<br />
<br />
So whenever I get to that point in my relationship where all of my daily decisions lead me to falling in love, I'll know what to do. I won't run, like I always thought I would but rather I'll continue to make choices that nourish and build our love. I'll embody the patience of my father and the thoughtfulness of my mother and create a life that teaches my children what a real and authentic love story looks like.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-54959516414328864482016-12-22T07:00:00.000-08:002016-12-22T10:06:13.769-08:00Single women, society and social media. Last week, on December 16th I got the most likes I've ever gotten on a post, 407 to be exact. I changed my status from single to in a relationship and it seemed like everyone I know took notice.<br />
<br />
Social media and I have quite the strange relationship. It's one of my favorite things because of the way that it gives me access to my friends and family that are scattered all over the globe as well as to ideas and concepts from people that I may never meet.<br />
<br />
I love posting pictures on Instagram and posting blog updates and life updates on Facebook and reading the updates of my friends and family. It's cool to be able to update a bunch of people at once about what's going on, especially when you don't have time to call or text all of them individually. What I don't love is the way that it can be used as an avenue for hate and discord and how it has the ability to give us a false sense of community and connection.<br />
<br />
This week I found myself waist deep in some feelings that I didn't really expect to have. This year I've been so excited to post about different things that are going on in my life. In March I got a new job with Goodwill and I've been loving every minute of it. I moved into an adorable little carriage house in a suburb of Denver and started adulting hardcore. I helped plant a church in Denver in September and it's been one of the most enriching and out of my comfort zone experiences of my life so far.<br />
<br />
None of that got anywhere close to the attention or likes that Patrick and I's relationship update got and that kind of made me feel a little weird.<br />
<br />
I've talked to a few people about this, my dad, Patrick and a few of my coworkers and it's so interesting the value that is put on a female getting into a relationship, getting married or having children. When so many people commented on my relationship status, I was excited but it also made me feel like none of my other accomplishments compared to this one.<br />
<br />
Am I reading too much into this? Or is there a real issue with society and the way that we view and value the accomplishments of single women?<br />
<br />
I loved being single. I was happy, fulfilled, content and so driven. I didn't start living when I got into a relationship, it has definitely added to my happiness and I hope that it will for years to come but it didn't create it.<br />
<br />
I'm not annoyed that so many people reached out when I started dating Patrick, believe me I totally get it, but it did force me to reflect on a few things.<br />
<br />
As I write this, I realize that I'm guilty of everything that I'm blogging about. I've called and congratulated friends about engagements and baby announcements and sometimes have only liked or even over looked posts about graduations, or new jobs or life ventures. I haven't always been the feminist and supportive friend that I've hoped to see in the world and for that I feel bad.<br />
<br />
So I'm sorry if you're a female and my friend and I haven't congratulated you on all of the milestones that you've reached in life. If I didn't reach out after you bought your own house, finished graduate school, paid off your student loans or did something that was truly amazing I apologize.<br />
<br />
You're more than your relationship status, that's apart of your story but it's not your ENTIRE story.<br />
<br />
So yes, I am in a relationship. I'm beyond excited about Patrick and the potential that I see in what we have. I'm more than open to talk and share about the relationship and I'm also really excited to talk about everything else going on in my life.<br />
<br />
This post isn't meant to condemn anyone. If you reached out to me recently about what's going on in my life, please know that I appreciate you. What this is meant to do is to just be a space where I can be open and authentic about what I'm feeling and how recently in the midst of a really happy moment I found myself feeling strange.<br />
<br />
So there you go, those are my thoughts for this week. They're not so pretty this time, a little rough around the edges but they're real and I hope that's good enough.<br />
<br />
Until next time! Xoxo.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-45230235573573478312016-12-15T07:00:00.000-08:002016-12-15T07:00:38.286-08:00The freedom of childhood. When I was a little girl I remember that right before a big storm, when the sky was dark and the flood gates were moments away from opening my mom would present us with a proposition.<br />
<br />
She would challenge us to try and run across the yard to the fence and back before the rain started. As silly as it sounds whenever the chance presented itself we would always say yes. Sometimes she would run with us and other times she would stand on the back porch and laugh as we tried to touch the fence and get back to the house.<br />
<br />
I used to really miss those days. Days where I was just a kid, waiting to grow up. The days where I would feel so free running through the grass as the sky got dark and the rain got closer. I felt so alive in those moments.<br />
<br />
Moments where all we cared about, my siblings and I, was making my mom laugh and reaching the fence and then the house before the rain reached us. Sometimes we were successful and we'd barrel into the house one after another, out of breath but full on joy.<br />
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We had less worries back then. We didn't care so much about messing up our clothes or pulling out our phones so that we could put it on snapchat or about feeling or looking stupid. We would just run.<br />
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The reason I say that I used to miss those days is because I recently realized that the freedom of being a child does not have to be lost in adulthood. Children are free, in my opinion because they're trusting, they see the best in people and the situations they're placed in. Children don't search for faults but rather search for opportunities to love.<br />
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When I was a kid and my mom told us to run through the grass, right before the craziness of a storm, we didn't stop and ask her what her intentions were. It never crossed our minds that we could get hurt running or that she might lock us out of the house or make fun of us for doing something so silly. We were kids and she was our mom, we trusted her, no questions asked.<br />
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I'm not saying that as adults we need to be 100% free and trusting of every situation and person that comes our way. I'm saying that if someone tells you that they're not going anywhere, that they care about you, that they want to invest in you, believe them.<br />
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Give them a chance to show you that if they send you out into the yard, with the impending storm only moments away, that they won't shut the door as you race back.<br />
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Relationships are tricky. They are tricky all by themselves without any additional baggage or weirdness but when we add fear to the mix, when we add the skepticism that adulthood often brings we make things even more difficult.<br />
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I wonder how our relationships, my relationships, would be different if we entered them with childlike faith, childlike trust, childlike love.<br />
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Jesus says to his disciples in Matthew 18, that unless they were to change and become like little children they would never enter into the kingdom of heaven. I've spent a lot of time thinking about that scripture and what I can say for certain is that I know that Jesus wasn't telling them to go backwards in their development or to start dressing like kids.<br />
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I think that Jesus was presenting them with a very clear and tangible example of living a life without fear. A life that is free to love, to be loved, to trust and to have faith...the life of a child.<br />
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How would you love differently if you did so without any fear? Don't just skim by that question, I want you to really think about it. What would be different in your life if you loved without any concern of rejection or humiliation but rather an openness to the possibilities that life had to offer you.<br />
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I'm still setting my intentions for the new year but something that's very high on my list is opening my heart and my life up to the love that I deserve. So often I shy away from things that are real. I tend to settle for the mediocrity of average relationships and that's not something I'm willing to do anymore. I'm not willing to miss what's real for the comfort and safety of the superficial.<br />
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So continuing with the theme of preparing for the life that we want in 2017, I say to the grave with fear. Lets put fear to death and embrace the freedom and the hope that comes from loving like a child.<br />
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"There is an endless possibility for God to create a world within us, a world transformed through the bravery of perfect love."<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-76485061384711031352016-12-08T09:43:00.001-08:002016-12-08T09:43:51.867-08:00Vision and GoalsOn December 28th of 2015 I grabbed my journal went into my room and wrote out my vision and my goals for 2016. In the past, time and time again, year after year I had written out my new years resolution and they would only last for about a month or two at the most.<br />
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I would come up with these lists and be super excited about them for a few weeks and then before the holiday cheer had gotten a chance to wear off, my resolutions were a thing of the past. I know I'm not alone in this, I read a statistic the other day that said only 8% of Americans are successful at achieving and sticking to their New Years resolutions.<br />
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So I decided that I didn't want to do resolutions anymore but the idea of setting goals and creating a vision for my life each year was something that I was very attracted to. So that's what I did.<br />
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I went into my room and took a good long look at my life. Where did I see myself in twelve months? What kind of life did I want? What kind of people did I want in my life? How did I want to look in a year? How was my spiritual life doing and did I want to improve it?<br />
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All of those questions led to me coming up with 5 areas of my life that I wanted to improve. The areas that I identified were faith, relationships, finances, fitness and outreach. So I developed goals that fit each of those areas and wrote them down in my journal. I didn't just write things like "improve my physical fitness" instead I wrote "develop a routine of exercising 5 times a week and plan my meals and workouts at the beginning of the week." That's just one line from my fitness goal but as you can see it was specific and clear it wasn't general and undefined.<br />
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I wrote out steps for how I would achieve each goal and I didn't wait until January first to start. As soon as I closed my notebook the vision that I created for my life began. To stay on track I set up a biweekly reminder in my phone that would help me to remember to go back to my goals and see if I was on track and if not how I could get back to that.<br />
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I would be a big fat liar if I said that I was always diligent about doing these biweekly check-ins. Sometimes weeks would go by where I didn't take a moment to sit down and read over my goals and check my progress. Since it was new, I had to train myself to stay on track and to be consistent and intentional about the life I wanted and the type of person I wanted to be.<br />
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Today I looked back at my vision and the goals I set for this year and I've achieved all of them except for one. One of them I made bigger than myself, knowing that it was a stretch but wanting to try it anyway. I might not have been fully successful but if I wouldn't have written it down and attempted it I wouldn't be as far as I am today.<br />
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I'm sharing all of this with you today to say that you don't have to wait until the first of the year to change your life. You can start today. Today you can take a moment to sit down and come up with five or less areas of your life that you would like to see improvement in. Five areas of your life where you can be intentional and diligent about putting in the work and turning those weak spots into strengths.<br />
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I haven't started working on my vision and goals for 2017 yet but after reading over my 2016 goals and seeing how well I did I'm beyond excited to do it.<br />
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I strongly encourage you to consider taking the steps to making your life exactly the way that you want it to be. If you're unhappy, you don't have to stay that way. If you lack financial responsibility, today is a great day to set your mind on working on that. If you don't like the person you see in the mirror, right now is the time to change that.<br />
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If you're not sure where to start or if you just need some support please don't hesitate to reach out to me in the comments section and I'll do what I can to help. You're one decision away from starting a journey that could potentially change the course of your life. The moment is now, what are you waiting for?<br />
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Until next time. Xoxo.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-26445475766023339882016-12-01T07:00:00.000-08:002016-12-01T08:54:12.215-08:00A Christlike grace. The other day after getting to work, I went outside to get some coffee and when I walked past my car I realized that something was different. There was a scratch on the back left side and the light lens was cracked. I sat there for quite a while confused about what had happened and eventually I reached the conclusion that someone had hit my car while I was home for vacation.<br />
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I spent a large part of my morning calling shops in the area trying to find the best place that I could go to get it fixed. I wasn't angry but I was very annoyed that I had to pay for something that I didn't do.</div>
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I now needed to take time out of my work day and make phone calls and adjust my monthly budget in order to factor in this unexpected work on my car. Work that needed to be done because of someone else's negligence. This person's lack of responsibility for their actions resulted in me feeling inconvenienced and like I was being punished for what some random idiot did. </div>
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Most people don't like being blamed or punished for something that they didn't do. If a little kid gets in trouble for a spill that their sibling created they'll scream and cry out about the injustice. As adults we're the same way. We complain, get annoyed and are so bothered when we have to clean up the mess that someone else created. Why am I the one that has to suffer when I didn't even do anything wrong? </div>
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Today I was thinking about my situation and how unfair it all is and then my mind suddenly went to the cross. II Corinthians 5:21 says "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him."</div>
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My perfect and blameless savior became sin for me. Christ knew not sin but he decide to become it and pay the price for it so that I could be made righteous in him. </div>
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I am so humbled by that truth. Humbled and embarrassed actually. Embarrassed that a person like myself, someone that has lied, has taken what doesn't belong to them and has lived the farthest thing from a perfect life could be so upset about paying the price for someone else. </div>
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Christ died on the cross for me. He died for me and he died for you. Christ died for people that would never believe in him. People who will always argue his existence, curse his name and persecute those who love him. He died for the liars, the cheaters, the murderers, the racists, the pedophiles, the lost, the dirty and the marginalized. </div>
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The perfect one, the one who knew no sin, laid down his life so that I could have the chance to find mine. </div>
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Living a life that models the behavior and example that Christ set is a constant struggle for me. I have to die to myself daily. I have to constantly check myself and call myself out on my selfish and 'woe is me' behavior that in no way portrays the image of the father. </div>
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Often when I'm writing I feel like I want to not only present an issue and discuss it but also at the end I want to provide a solution. Today, I have no solutions for you. If I'm being completely transparent and honest I'm sitting here still convicted about my feelings and the only thing that's giving me peace is knowing the sacrifice that Christ made for me. </div>
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I am so blessed. Scratched car, cracked light lens and all...I am tremendously blessed by the sacrifice and the grace of the cross. May I be the type of person that extends that type of grace to those around me. The type of grace that forgives those who will never apologize and pays the price for a debt that I do not owe. The type of grace that though blameless is willing to wear the blame for another. </div>
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The type of grace that models his sacrifice. A Christlike grace. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-53479958682964569872016-11-17T07:30:00.000-08:002016-11-17T07:30:22.707-08:00Happy ThanksgivingThe longer I work in the Public school system, with under served youth from so many diverse and often hard to imagine backgrounds the more grateful I become for the opportunity to always go home.<br />
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Next week, for the holidays I'll be spending the whole week with my family and I am so looking forward to it. There's something so comforting in knowing that no matter how far I go that I'm always welcome home. That's a feeling that I don't take for granted because I know that not everyone gets to feel that way.<br />
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As humans we all long for community, for a home. I believe that we all have within us a desire to be welcomed by others, to have a place where we can let down all of our walls and just be.<br />
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I don't know if you know what it's like to feel lost or alone, like you don't belong anywhere or don't have a place to call home. I've never had those feelings myself but I've seen them, I've seen them in the eyes of students. Young people that are too young to know the feeling of rejection from the people that they call family.<br />
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I've never felt it but I've seen it and seeing it and being around it makes me hurt to my heart. It makes me value the home and the community that I have but it also makes me want to create that everywhere I go. I want to learn how to make the students that I interact with and the people that I meet feel safe, feel like they have a community and most importantly feel at home.<br />
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As I count down the days to Thanksgiving I can't help but to audibly acknowledge my blessings and all of the things that I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for my parents and the safe haven that they've always created in our home. I'm grateful for my siblings and how we always advocate for and support each other. I'm grateful for my church community, that they're not just people that I interact with on Sunday's but people I do life with.<br />
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I'm grateful for my friends and how they are continually putting up with my craziness. I'm grateful for the gifts and the talents that the Lord has blessed me with and how I've been able to use them to glorify his kingdom.<br />
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Right now, more than anything, I'm beyond grateful for my job and the way that it exposes me to situations that I had never seen before. Situations that show me how to have a little more compassion, a little more patience, a little more empathy. <br />
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I struggle sometimes with putting myself in other people's shoes and allowing myself to settle into their skin, to see the world from their perspective. Sometimes I'm so deep in my own life that I forget to look up and take in what's going on around me.<br />
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As I get ready to spend an awesome week at home I can't help but to see all of those that aren't sure of where or with who they'll spend the holiday. My favorite holiday, the one where I'm surrounded by so much love and laughter is for others a day where they're reminded of how alone they feel.<br />
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How can those of us that know what it's like to have a home and a community make ourselves available to be a source of love for those that are lacking it? I don't know all of the answers but I do know that love is the starting point. I wasn't there when my parents first decided to start a life together and to build a home but I think that love was the main component. So if we're sincere in our intentions and we love others, maybe just maybe, they'll feel like they belong...maybe with us they'll feel like they have a home.<br />
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Happy thanksgiving everyone. May you be surrounded by love this holiday season and may that fuel you to love others.<br />
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Xoxo.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-13531379214332322502016-11-10T07:00:00.000-08:002016-11-10T09:23:46.927-08:00Someone who cares. "Dear Nicole, Thanks for coming to our school and taking your time to teach us about your career. The moment I heard you, a spark came up. The way you talked about what you did made me realize how much I'd want to be like you. Someone who has passion and loves their job. I want to be like you. Someone who cares."<br />
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In 2011, when I traveled as a student in Up with People there was a word that we used quite often. A seemingly normal word developed and grew into something that defined my semester abroad and the years that followed. </div>
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After we'd have meetings or huddles, right before we'd start a new project or tackle a new challenge we would break on the word 'Burn'. Burn was more than just a word, it was a declaration, it was a call to action. Burn was a reminder to always be the spark that lights the flame, to always empower. </div>
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During my student semester abroad I would pump myself up on difficult days by saying the word burn and trying to implement it into my day. I remember one day in particular, I had to do an educational workshop in a difficult class. The students didn't seem very engaged and not at all excited that we were there. I thought to myself if I can inspire these young adults, if I can allow my passion to bleed onto their lives then I'll be doing something right, I'll be burning. </div>
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I walked into that class with a fire burning in my eyes and passion roaring in my chest. I gave them everything I had and when I left I felt like there was a heat on my back from the excitement and the energy that was left in the class. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had made a real difference, like I had changed the atmosphere of the room instead of it changing me. </div>
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I started this post with a letter that I got from a student that I met a few weeks ago. In October I spoke on a career panel at a high school in Denver; my topic was education and I spoke about the different jobs I've had and how they fit into the field of education. I spent a majority of my time on the panel laughing with the students and telling them about all of the times that I changed my mind about what I wanted to do with my life. Each rotation ended with me telling them about how broad and exciting the education field is and how it has changed my life. I burned so bright that day.</div>
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I grew up never wanting to be a teacher, never wanting to work in education. I wanted to change the world, I wanted my name to be written down in books and for everyone to always remember me. As I got older, as I was changed by education and educators I realized that the way to change the world, the way to make a real impact is through education. </div>
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It's through my career in education that I was able to travel all over the world. It was through education that I was given the chance to speak in front of classrooms on 4 different continents and share my opinions and encourage conversation among youth. It's through education that I get the chance to work with students all over Denver, helping them to see their worth and the possibilities that their future holds. </div>
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Reading that letter from that student kind of made me have an 'I can't believe this is my life' moment. I can't believe that I've grown up to become the person that I am today. Someone that loves young adults and fights for their dreams, someone that a student meets for 15 minutes and knows right away that I care about them. Someone that burns in every aspect of their life. </div>
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I hope that you've found your passion in life. I hope it roars inside of your chest and you use it everyday to make a difference. I hope when you meet people that they look into your eyes and know that you're not just floating through life but rather you're on a mission, you're walking in your purpose. </div>
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I hope that you burn. I hope you burn so bright that you ignite every single being that you come in contact with. I hope one day, you get a letter from a person that you met for only a few moments. A letter that tells you how you've changed their life. I hope you change the world. </div>
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"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn."</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-86455048430665743342016-11-03T08:34:00.000-07:002016-11-03T08:36:11.104-07:00Portland and me. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
For my birthday this year, I decided to take a trip and it ended up being so much more than just a vacation. My goal was adventure, laughter and time in a new place surrounded by people that didn't know my name. I wanted to be immersed in greenery and create poems whilst getting lost in all that Portland had to offer me.</div>
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When the plane landed in Portland and it hit me what I was doing, traveling in a brand new city all alone, I couldn't stop smiling. I was grinning like a five year old at everyone who looked my way and that feeling of excitement and joy stayed with me the entire trip.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Pfdpl75yajfZVw7pTvPkoDEkdywyMIao8WJnyo-L_4noPfrrFzz4IcCajlR_rA0smwm0FbsxSbdy_mFwIABKAp36IiiNpVNh_DbYo64g2i2UKff6phKgcQQ3QMNPIz02PFXfYL9y3NE/s1600/Portland2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Pfdpl75yajfZVw7pTvPkoDEkdywyMIao8WJnyo-L_4noPfrrFzz4IcCajlR_rA0smwm0FbsxSbdy_mFwIABKAp36IiiNpVNh_DbYo64g2i2UKff6phKgcQQ3QMNPIz02PFXfYL9y3NE/s400/Portland2.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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Portland is irrefutably beautiful. The scenery is healthy and inviting and the people are busy but kind. There's a sense of hustle and bustle in the city of Portland and in the demeanor's of the people quickly passing by. Though they seemed to be in a hurry, I was comforted by the fact that anytime I smiled in someone's direction, I was met with kind eyes and a returned smile.<br />
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I celebrated my 25th birthday in Mexico and to be funny my friends decided to trick me and pretend like they didn't remember what day it was. I knew that it was just a joke and that at some point I would be overwhelmed with presents and so much love but for a moment I felt so alone. I thought to myself that I hoped I'd never have to spend my birthday by myself, surrounded by people that didn't know what a special day it was.<br />
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On my 27th birthday I wore all of my favorite things, with the most important thing being my roommates Minnesota Twins hat. I put my umbrella and scarf in my backpack, along with my journal and headed over to a local spot to have brunch. I ordered two eggs, potatoes and a biscuit and I ate alone while reading 'Bossy Pants' by Tina Fey, it was exactly how I envisioned starting my birthday. Alone but far from lonely.<br />
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I was comforted by the fact that no one around me knew how special of a day I was about to have and humbled by the thought that maybe everyone else would be celebrating special moments as well. I walked around with a smile on my face and what felt like a secret in my heart. There I was, only a few hours into being 27 and it was already my most exciting birthday yet.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKF_gXEPWQ-hkTwZzpkLUP9CBBglJJTkQb6L8We2_72PfDsIO238rgHZYq_tVg4-UaxdX55vZFT5OXfvLJIP8x_LHkYP2VihrJrCJoqtO8Q3v9lAtK4RKmsf_lYVsWatC85uvX0m-qNfA/s1600/Portland1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKF_gXEPWQ-hkTwZzpkLUP9CBBglJJTkQb6L8We2_72PfDsIO238rgHZYq_tVg4-UaxdX55vZFT5OXfvLJIP8x_LHkYP2VihrJrCJoqtO8Q3v9lAtK4RKmsf_lYVsWatC85uvX0m-qNfA/s400/Portland1.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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Growing up a twin, my birthday was never just for me. Even though it was annoying in the early years I grew to love it as I got older. I looked forward to that day and spent it being reminded that from the womb I had a partner in crime, someone to venture through this journey of life with. As the years passed and decisions took us in different directions we spent our birthdays together less and less. I can't remember the last time my brother and I entered into a new year while living in the same city. My brother will always be my twin and we'll always share a birthday but this year, for some reason, I felt like October 26 was mine, made just for me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgBxZif0Ko2zod9tAcdQS2zct88GC3v9vmSLirlqQmZrnqeoX-GzuHFHpJ5i4rTIBXgy7G4bDlC_jbFNdMZMI0nZLJE-XFip9oOlrPl9psOyoT2VzD8i0DRKKL7jZezVGFdH_9lCfioE/s1600/Portland3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgBxZif0Ko2zod9tAcdQS2zct88GC3v9vmSLirlqQmZrnqeoX-GzuHFHpJ5i4rTIBXgy7G4bDlC_jbFNdMZMI0nZLJE-XFip9oOlrPl9psOyoT2VzD8i0DRKKL7jZezVGFdH_9lCfioE/s400/Portland3.JPG" width="225" /></a></div>
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Portland was the sentence that ended this most recent chapter in my life. It reminded me of who I've been, who I am and who I want to be. It confronted old insecurities and doubts and reminded me of the hope that's so deeply embedded in my blood and the strength beating in my chest. I've never liked myself more. never been more content with my life, never felt more connected to the lives ebbing and flowing around my own. </div>
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If you're responsibility free and have the money and the time, I strongly encourage you to take a trip by yourself. Go to a city that you've never been to before, stay somewhere cool, bring a journal, talk to strangers and immerse yourself completely in your own company.<br />
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It took me turning 27 and traveling to a random tree filled city to be reminded of the peace and joy that the Lord has placed within my heart. 26 was an amazing age filled with excitement, transition, love and so much happiness but 27 will be better. 27, is already better.<br />
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Thanks for keeping up with me. Until next time friends. Xoxo. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-30005217863118653512016-10-20T08:57:00.000-07:002016-10-20T08:57:54.404-07:00From 26 year old me, to you. The longer I live the more I learn about life, love and these beautiful creatures called humans that inhabit this earth. The longer I live, the more I learn about myself and where all of my mannerisms and behaviors come from.<br />
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Today, I want to share with you three random life things that I think are valuable. Things that I strive to keep in mind when flowing through this wild experience. All of these things were taught to me by people that I not only love very much but more importantly, that I respect and look up to. Check em out, put them in your volt if you think that they're valuable and feel free to leave them right here if you don't.<br />
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1. The power of a name.<br />
One of the sweetest sounds to a person's ears is the sound of their own name. There is so much power in remembering someones name when you meet them and using it in conversation. When I have a waiter/ waitress I always make sure to ask their name and use it during the time that they're serving our table. When I call a customer service line, I do my best to remember their name and to thank them by name at the end of the call. Learning and using someone's name not only brightens their day and reminds them of their value, but it also empowers you to listen more than you talk and to ask more questions than you answer.<br />
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2. Treat the CEO the same way as the janitor.<br />
I've mentioned this before in my blog but our worth and our value is not found in what job we do and what positions we hold. We are loved by the Father and he sent his son to die for every single one of us. Now, most people won't tell you this, but if you live as if everyone is important, as if we're all on the same playing field and treat everyone with care and respect you'll have so much favor in this world. So whether they own the company or they clean it, aim to treat them with as much kindness and respect as you can.<br />
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3. Listen more than you speak.<br />
We live in a time where social media gives everyone a platform to express how they feel about every topic under the sun. Whether they're sharing their thoughts on politics or oppression or the latest celebrity scandal everyone feels the need to be heard. How many of us are taking the time to listen? I've been listening to a lot of speakers and preachers lately and the biggest trend I've noticed is a call for their congregations to aim to understand before being understood. To strive to be the type of person that takes the time to listen to the pain, anger and heartache of another before sharing your views. To be courteous enough to lend an ear before sharing a post. How many problems in this world would be solved by us taking the time to listen rather than taking advantage of every moment we have to speak?<br />
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In less than a week I'm going to be turning 27. I will be spending my birthday in Portland, Oregon exploring a new city by myself and I am beyond excited for my trip. As I phase into this new year of life I pray that I'm the type of person that doesn't just share my opinion, but values and listens to the opinions of others.<br />
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Thank you checking this post out and for supporting me on this blogging journey. The next time you hear from me, I won't be 26 anymore and what a glorious day that will be.<br />
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Until next time friends! Xoxo.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-25039698676003729072016-10-13T06:00:00.000-07:002016-10-13T06:00:33.321-07:00The right to speak. "You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic; true power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you; breathe and allow things to pass."<br />
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Growing up the things that people would say to me would come in one ear, float around my heart and pull up a chair to stay forever. I was so easily moved by the words that my siblings would throw my way that even when they were kidding around, odds are that I would end up crying.<br />
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Years of experience, going to college, traveling the world...it's all toughened me up a bit. I'm not as sensitive as I used to be. Words don't just fly by me but they definitely don't take root in my soul like they used to.<br />
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With that being said, lately, I've found the sensitivity and the knee jerk reaction to respond harshly or be easily angered trying to creep it's way back into my life.<br />
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When it comes to subjects that I'm very passionate about like the Black Lives Matter movement, my faith/ the church community and our current political situation my patience has started to run so thin. I've struggled in engaging in conversations with people who have differing opinions and find myself mentally shutting down when I start to hear comments and views that I think are ignorant.<br />
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Saturday I went for an almost two hour walk in my neighborhood by myself. I went to my favorite coffee shop, got a large cup of coffee to go and just started walking. I laughed, I sang, I spent time with God and towards the end I felt like the Father was challenging my opinions and views and the way I express them.<br />
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I felt a soft nudge on my heart encouraging me to not only develop an opinion, but also develop a confidence. A confidence that allows me to engage in conversation with someone and still be passionate as well as open to the possibility that I may be wrong about some things. An openness that allows me to grow in my beliefs while still being grounded in my values.<br />
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If I'm being completely honest I think that sometimes when people disagree with me it makes me feel like my opinion and my views are wrong. There are times when I'm having a discussion, especially with men, where I feel like I need to provide irrefutable proof for every single view that I have and that I need to do it at rapid speed. If I can't express what I believe, in ten seconds or less, with facts and data to back it up than I must not have a foundation for my opinion.<br />
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Those feelings stem not only from insecurity but also from the subtle influence of a culture of oppression and the silencing/discrediting of women. They stem from the idea that I need to know everything about a topic before I can openly express my opinion about it and that's not true at all. The mindset that your opinion can't ever change about a certain topic and if it does then you probably didn't believe in it in the first place is so deeply flawed.<br />
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We as humans are not stagnant beings. If our minds never change about a topic it's because we're choosing to stay in that place. Life is all about growing, learning and developing and one of the ways that we do that is through conversations with people that make us feel safe enough to be wrong and supported enough to learn.<br />
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It's in those spaces that we develop the confidence needed to hold our own and not be rattled when surrounded by the angry, hurtful and often aggressive views that are thrown our way.<br />
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I'm only a few weeks away from turning 27 and as I approach that awesome day I do so with the resolve to become more open minded, loving and grounded in my convictions. I want others to feel safe to share their views and opinions with me, even if I disagree with them and I want to be able to have that same experience.<br />
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More than anything, I want to be firmly rooted and confident in who I am in Christ. Whether someone agrees with me, calls my opinion stupid, thinks that I don't have the right to speak up...whatever. None of that changes my identity and that should be validation enough.<br />
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Whether I'm writing my blog or boldly standing up for something I believe in, I feel so blessed to be able to use the beautiful voice that God gave me to exercise my right to speak.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273050520636393068.post-31819638997850044072016-10-06T06:00:00.000-07:002016-10-06T10:34:32.057-07:00A Better Way to Pray. About a month or so ago my older brother tagged me in a post on Facebook. It was on the page of a well-known Pastor based in Colorado Springs and it was reaching out to bloggers and writers to give them the opportunity to review one of his books before it's re-release.<br />
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I thought to myself "what the heck, it's worth a shot," emailed them a link to my blog and my Facebook and waited for a response. A few days later I got an email telling me that they had reviewed my content and believed that it aligned well with their mission and message and that attached I would find a copy of the book.<br />
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The book is called <i>A Better Way to Pray</i> and it's written by preacher and author Andrew Wommack. I was introduced to Andrew Wommack and his teachings years ago by my father and I've followed his work ever since.<br />
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I'm really excited to share my thoughts about the content of this book but also to share with you some things that I took from it that I think are beneficial.<br />
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Let me just start by saying that if you've never heard Andrew Wommack preach or read one of his books before, he has a very distinct tone. His words, though filled with love, are quite direct. He doesn't hold back with his use of exclamation points and he words things in a way that makes sure that the message is always very clear.<br />
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I often found myself laughing out loud while reading this book because I could hear his voice jumping out from the pages and I couldn't help but to giggle.<br />
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With that being said the message within the pages, though at times convicting, is truly life changing. While taking notes I found that there were so many things that stood out to me that to try and write about them all would take up too much space. So instead I decide to point out three keys thoughts that really stuck with me from the book and last but certainly not least how the book has affected my prayer life.<br />
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1. The importance of thanks.<br />
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Whatever we focus on is magnified. If we focus on our issues, they grow bigger but if we focus on our gratitude it becomes the biggest thing in our lives. Prayer is a time where we can lavish God with our thanks and gratitude towards him.<br />
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Does God needs to hear us say thank you? No, not necessarily but when we spend time thanking God for what he's done for us and acknowledge our many blessings our problems become so small in comparison. Chapter 5 entitled <i>Make a prayer sandwich</i> emphasizes the importance of starting and ending our prayers with praise and thanksgiving. It's through that process that we magnify God and all that he's done for us instead of magnifying our problems.<br />
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When we begin our prayer time by expressing our gratitude by the time we get to our requests we're not only reminded of how small they are but more importantly how BIG God is. I encourage you to spend the first five minutes of your prayer time thanking and praising God. I think that you'll be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.<br />
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2. The primary purpose of prayer.<br />
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The primary purpose of prayer is not receiving from God, yes that is A purpose but not THE purpose. Prayer is a time of fellowship, intimacy and relationship with Christ. God knows every single thing that we need in this life. The Lord knows that we need to eat and make money and provide for our families, he knows these things. When we come to him constantly making requests, he's not upset but we're missing the true blessing that comes from prayer.<br />
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Prayer is a time for us to commune with God. It's a time for us to share our lives with him, to laugh, to cry, to simply invite him into the most intimate parts of our souls. This book reminded me that God is not just some magical genie waiting to grant our wishes. Rather he's a father, waiting to be invited into the lives and hearts of his children. <i>A Better Way to Pray</i> emphasizes the fact that God wants us to talk to him not only about our problems and our concerns but also about the things that make us come alive.<br />
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God wants to be our closest friend and most intimate relationship and prayer is a time for us to build that dynamic with him. I invite you to explore the beautiful relationship that you can have with Christ by spending your prayer time getting to know him rather than just getting things from him.<br />
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3. Loving God is all that matters.<br />
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We were CREATED for intimacy with Christ. It's almost to simple to grasp but it's the truth,we were solely created for the purpose of loving and being loved by him.<br />
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Of course, when you love someone, you desire to do their will and to do the things that make them happy but if all we ever did on this earth was love God, he wouldn't be upset with us. Through this book I was reminded that God is love and everything that he does and everything that he calls us to do comes down to that same thing. It is and will always be about loving God with all that we have.<br />
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God sent his son to die on the cross for our sins so that we could spend our days in fellowship with the king. When we realize that Jesus is not our escape route but rather our invitation to community, we are then able to enter into a life filled with love and a relationship with our best friend, Jesus Christ.<br />
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Ways that my prayer life has changed.<br />
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After reading this book, I realized that the majority of my prayer life and my relationship with Christ has been spent seeking things instead of just basking in his love. I realized that though I claim 'Christian' as the most important title to my name that I rarely take God at his word believing that he'll do what he says he's going to do. I realized that though I'm willing to walk away from relationships for my 'beliefs' that I don't even truly know the God that I'm claiming to have devoted my life to.<br />
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I didn't walk away from this book feeling condemned or bad about myself but rather I walked away from it feeling like I was about to embark on a life changing journey. I finished this book and I honestly felt so much freedom. This book equipped me with the tools, the confidence and the knowledge of who God is to be able to pray in a way that's not only effective but also a way that edifies and glorifies God.<br />
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Now the adventure starts to make this not just knowledge floating around in my head but rather something that I believe and know to be true in my heart.<br />
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I know that this post was EXTREMELY long but this book has truly given me a new thirst for God and who he is. It's made me realize that in John 10:10 when it says that Christ came that we may have life and have it more abundantly that it involves so much MORE than what I've experienced with him so far.<br />
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For those of you who are interested in checking out this book, I have an extra copy and would love to send it to one of you! Comment your name and email address below and in a few days I'll randomly pick a name and send that lucky person a copy!<br />
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Until next time friends.<br />
XoXoAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467455790877788119noreply@blogger.com2