Well today I decided to be quiet for a second. I sat on my bed and I just escaped to the silence and I let myself hear how loud life can be when you stop using words for a change. My life has been a series of words and sentences flowing from my lips like water from a broken faucet. I like to think that more often than not I have something important to say but there are times, so many times, where I say things that don't matter, things that hurt, things that I didn't think long enough about.
So today, when I had the chance instead of uttering words I just didn't say a thing. Instead I just allowed myself the opportunity to reflect and to think and to try and process all that I was feeling. I found that in that moment even after some thought I still didn't have the words so I still didn't speak. I realized that if i wouldn't have taken the time to reflect that I would have just said something and that something wouldn't have been a true representation of my feelings because I had no idea how I felt.
I'm in awe of the fact that for someone like me, someone who feels so much so often, that in a moment I was left emotionless.
So there I was, emotionless and speechless all in the same day, at the same time. My life is my own and that's what I like the most about it and as I grow and mature as a person I'm so glad that I'm strong enough and have the courage to examine myself. Because sometimes the moment calls for the most well prepared speech or spur of the moment rant and other times you just have to shut up and hear the silence.
"I've begun to realize that you can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension all it's own."